You Know Where You Are With Delia
Self-taught 'culinary alchemist' Heston Blumenthal has been lauded globally for his bizarre dishes such as snail porridge and bacon & egg ice cream. Some call him a genius, some call him a molecular gastronomist. You know what I call him? Evil.
Snail porridge indeed. Would you have thought of bringing those two elements together? No, you wouldn't, and I'll tell you why, because you're NORMAL. I mean, only one of those things is actually a foodstuff (I don't count what the French would eat - this is the nation who ran out of words in their own language around the 1940s and don't have words for 'hamburger' and 'car-park' and therefore are quite primitive in their outlook on life - they like eating things raw probably because they still don't really trust fire).
No, Herr Doktor Blumenthal is faaaaaaar too much of a mad scientist for my liking. All this splicing of ingredients in the name of avant-garde cookery is just a façade. It is my belief that somewhere in Berkshire, or Finland, he's got a secret underground laboratory where he zealously combines and divides DNA strands in countless petrie dishes, creating myriad variations on the human genome, striving to find the genetic formula for his army of mutant clones with which he shall subdue, and ultimately rule, the Earth.
If further information is needed to support my (some might say wild) claims I give you the evidence of Blumenthal's books published in 2006 and 2007. Heston Blumenthal: In Search of Perfection and Heston Blumenthal: Further Adventures In Search of Perfection. See, he's not even trying to hide it - some Cream of Eugenics with your humble pie, anyone?
Snail porridge indeed. Would you have thought of bringing those two elements together? No, you wouldn't, and I'll tell you why, because you're NORMAL. I mean, only one of those things is actually a foodstuff (I don't count what the French would eat - this is the nation who ran out of words in their own language around the 1940s and don't have words for 'hamburger' and 'car-park' and therefore are quite primitive in their outlook on life - they like eating things raw probably because they still don't really trust fire).
No, Herr Doktor Blumenthal is faaaaaaar too much of a mad scientist for my liking. All this splicing of ingredients in the name of avant-garde cookery is just a façade. It is my belief that somewhere in Berkshire, or Finland, he's got a secret underground laboratory where he zealously combines and divides DNA strands in countless petrie dishes, creating myriad variations on the human genome, striving to find the genetic formula for his army of mutant clones with which he shall subdue, and ultimately rule, the Earth.
If further information is needed to support my (some might say wild) claims I give you the evidence of Blumenthal's books published in 2006 and 2007. Heston Blumenthal: In Search of Perfection and Heston Blumenthal: Further Adventures In Search of Perfection. See, he's not even trying to hide it - some Cream of Eugenics with your humble pie, anyone?
posted by sephene | 11:29
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